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Parliament
A recurring sketch on the Planned Banter podcast, the contributors affect terrible British accents to portray stuffy lords of state. They are usually heard arguing vehemently about some minutia of pop culture. Parliament Characters: Parliament, 2010 Important notes (Marshall loves making notes): Rear Admiral Tottingham, Left-tenant Commodore Gunningsmith, Captain Mandrake IV, and believe-it-or-not Brigadier Paulson all come from military backgrounds, although Paulson never served active duty. All are retired, presumably, save Gunningsmith who is still in the employ of the Realm, mostly in an exploratory post. Lord Bucket’s “father” was military. Captain Mandrake IV, Lord Bucket and Brigadier Paulson come from substantial family money. Michael- Phillip Howard Abraham Reginald-Tottingham, Rear Admiral, Her Majesty’s Royal Navy, Retired' - Lost a leg during the Korean War...during a training exercise. Anti-technology, he believes that evil spirits reside in anything not powered by steam, diesel or clockwork (Clock King, huh!). Commanded the oldest ship in the navy while still active. Intermittently narcoleptic. Wakes up and continues his previous statements from when he fell asleep. Blustery and pompous. Loves obscure characters in popular franchises. Misplaces people’s names ... Marshall - Sir Geoffrey Archibald Jameson Gunningsmith of Northumberlandshire-upon-Essex -' Left-tenant Commodore in th'e West India Trading Company (tea division, of course), just returned from safari, wot wot. Pith hat, monocle, khaki fatigues, curled dustbroom mustache, pizazz. A rightful servant of the Queen, my good man! A tea aficionado who often makes his teas “irish,” and a bog-standard unintentional bigot, Sir Gunningsmith quite fancies those industrious darkies what pull sustenance in all its forms from the Queen’s fine soil such as a royal surgeon might pull a prince from the Queen’s fine loins. (Wishes to join the Order of the Star of India, even though it went dormant) Richard - '''Manfred Manchester Mandrake the 4th, 6th Earl of Shropshire -' Heir to the substantial Mandrake fortune and the land associated with it, which is currently serving as the ad hoc tenement for convicts who are waiting to shipped off to Millicent Milhart Mandrake Memorial Penitentiary in Australia. Served as Captain in the 14th Artillery regiment a.k.a. the “Potato Mashers”, due to their savage attack on a friendly squad made up of Irishmen they had mistaken for hostiles during the opening salvo of the Boer War. Jason - '''Gregory Braddock Prentis Paulson Esq. - Viscount of Gloucesterland-on-Avon,Brigadier Marine Corps; Caladonian Railway,Lanarkshire and Dunbartonshire Railway. Feels like he is entitled to everything. His father (Calvin George...) was very rich, had a hand in creating the Railway he now runs. His father was a major hunter, and was particularly brutal to his hunting dogs. The dogs killed his father in a vicious mauling when he pushed them too far. All that remained was his pocketwatch, and his left pinky. Gregory wears the pocketwatch and strung the finger on his pocketwatch chain. Young, cocky, brash, know it all, very bratty. He gets very flustered and angers easily. Gregory’s military career was called into question when he was found, during a battle, knitting a scarf in a bunker. After searching through the veritable mountain of evidence that Paulson had paid for his rank, he was cleared of all charges. He typically wears long coats, and the smell of his pomade can be detected from 300 feet away. While he may be handsome, it all melts away when you anger him, and no one is quite sure who should be attracted to him... John Lord Ambrose Bucket, of the Lincolnshire Buckets. -''' The Bucket family gained prominence in their business of making wickets for croquet sets that were used by the royal family. Having discovered a new type of bamboo to construct the wickets out of, Mortimer Bucket plied a fresh bamboo trade from China in the late 1970s. Distracted by the Vietnam War, Mortimer was called to duty where he was injured not by the enemy, but an errant croquet ball from one of his own croquet sets while playing a friendly match against the Ching-Chong Charlies. Having suffered a tremendous knock to the head, Mortimer was relinquished of his duty but given a royal designation of Lord. Upon return to his Lincolnshire estate, he found his wife Euphemia pregnant with their first child. (It was interesting to many observers that Mortimer had been away for two years or more and she was already four months along.) Ambrose Euripedes Bucket came into the world during a terrible storm that damaged much of the estate and left Euphemia dead of fright from lightning. Not too much longer after the death of his wife, a brain-addled Mortimer met a sticky end with a sticky wicket which was wielded by the Bucket’s chief bamboo importation competitor Barnaby Addleston. A gruesome murder trial followed the incident and Barnaby was found guilty and sentenced to death. “A wicket through each eye will leave a man unable to ply-his trade of bamboo!” was heard as Barnaby was asked if he had any last words...Ambrose was there to witness the execution of his father’s murderer at the tender age of four, and then and there vowed to use his family’s name to secure their trade of bamboo not through business dealings--but political skulduggery. Through a series of interesting cabinet appointments and a brush with the famous Sherlock Holmes, Ambrose gathered enough support to be placed in the House of Lords where he interjects at in-opportune moments every chance he gets. Robert '''Sir Alistor Pilkington Thistlewicke Esq. - A prominent London attorney and consummate misanthrope, he prefers snide remarks and asides to shouting matches. His family’s claim to fame was his ancestor’s ardent support and their opposition to the restoration of the crown. More details to come... OR NOT! Kinsel ' Transportation Secretary Clarkson Stiggenmeyer' Parliament 2011 Mike - Sir Isaac Haemish Wallace -''' Scottish, no relation to William Wallce though he claims otherwise.' Richard - Robo-Capt. Manfred Manchester Mandrake - Continued in his post as Underminister-to-the-secretary-of-the-ex-chequer-and-vice-principal-parliamentarian - (interesting stuff here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earl_of_Shrewsbury. Apparently, there have been only 3 Earls of Shropshire before the title was changed - Marshall). Heir to the substantial Mandrake fortune and the land associated with it, which is currently serving as the ad hoc tenement for convicts who are waiting to shipped off to Millicent Milhart Mandrake Memorial Penitentiary in Australia. Served as Captain in the 14th Artillery regiment a.k.a. the “Potato Mashers”, due to their savage attack on a friendly squad made up of Irishmen they had mistaken for hostiles during the opening salvo of the Boer War. Marshall - Left-tenant Commodore Sir Geoffrey Archibald Jameson-Gunningsmith, GBE John - Lord Ambrose Bucket 'Jason - Jiminey Everleep, 'the friend-i-ly chiminey sweep - Southwest Cockneyshire, 4th St 'Kinsel - Gordon Lightfoot - '''Canadian; not THAT Gordon Lightfoot List of Episodes featuring the Parliament characters